NaNoWriMo Kick Off!

Tomorrow marks the kick off of Nanowrimo! I'm filled with nerves and anxiety about it. I'm not anywhere near as prepared as I ought to be and I'm already looking at the goal of 50,000 words with some serious side eye. 

But I'm ready to take the leap and go for it. I enjoy the challenge and, after almost 6 months with basically no productivity on the creative front, I'm excited to have the chance to get some work done. I know that I am not going to end November with a ready-to-be-published novel, but with something kind of a mess and needing a lot of help. But that's part of the writing process. 

Written in Slumber by matryosha

First drafts are almost always a messy affair that requires a whole lot of work to turn into the polished shiny novel that eager readers scoop up. Nanowrimo is the chance to turn off that inner critic and just sprint the novel race. Some days you might limp along, barely walking, and some days you may run a 7 minute mile of words, the thing is you keep moving and writing. I know a lot of people who don't participate in Nanowrimo because they think anything they produce during the sprint of November isn't going to be worth anything. But, for me at least, the point of Nanowrimo isn't just to create, it's to build the habit of writing. It's to commit to and finish a goal. 

I'm nervous as hell about this year's attempt. Every year I've committed to the 50,000 word dash, I've made it, and last year I wrote almost 90,000 words in November. But this year has been a slow slog through the muck of some serious depression and a lack of motivation. I've struggled to finish much of anything and I'm scared I won't make it to the finish line this year. But I know I'm not doing this race alone, there's a whole group of people here with me to help cheer me on. We're a team and that's an incredible soothing thought. 

Writing can be a very solitary endeavor, and it;'s one of the things that I struggle with the most. Nanowrimo is the chance to build your tribe of writers to support you through the good and the bad. Everyone starts the race with the same blank page in front of them and rather than competing to finish the race first, the goal is to help everyone cross the finish line with you. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to Nanowrimo year after year, the friendships formed as we all write our hearts out for the same goal. 

So, do whatever you need to do to get ready for the race of the year. I've prepped some meals, figured out the times (I hope) I'll be able to write with minimal interruptions and I'm working on deciding what I'll get as a reward for reaching my goal. I'm totally not above using briberry to get myself writing. 

So, whether you doubt you can meet the goal or if you're an old pro positive that this will be a piece of cake, don't be afraid to take the dive and get involved in Nanowrimo, it's not too late to sign up and join in on the adventure. And even if you aren't in the race, take the chance to encourage everyone who might be. Sometimes all someone needs is a hopeful voice shouting louder than all their own doubts. 

So, my fellow Nanowrimo-ers, come hell or high water, we are here and we are ready to write. 

Get ready, set. 

WRITE. 

NaNoWriMo: Making Words Tips

So last Monday I wrote about ways you can start prepping your life for the NaNoWriMo challenge beginning in November. I'm a strong believer that your daily habits are what make your life so I super-duper recommend you do build time to write into your life even if it's just for NaNo. BUT, this post isn't about building your life around writing 50,000 words in 30 days. Instead, this post is going to be about what writing things you can do to prep for the word rush. (Note, there may be some overlap but that's because writing draws from your life. The two are connected much as we try to keep them separated.)

1. Have a general idea. 

For a long time, I thought I was a pantser (I'd just take off with no outline) and then I went hardcore into being a plotter (outlining), but means have their merits and work better for different people. If you know you're a pantser, at least take the time to think about the general idea of the story. One thing I've done is to come up with a short theme for your novel, something like 'friendship is magic' or something else that you can come back to when you get stuck. If you're a plotter than get to work on your outlines, plan out chapter by chapter, beat by beat, big moment by moment, etc. Do what works for you. What I've discovered works for me is to be a planter. I take a germ of an idea and bury it in a base outline. The story grows based on the nutrients in the soil but the shape of it is still free to shift and move with time. 
If you have no idea what you are? Try writing out a paragraph about your novel idea, just a paragraph. If writing that out takes some of the 'magic' out of the story, you're probably a pantser. If that paragraph makes you want to write out more, get to plotting. 

2. Find a support network. 

This is totally a life and writing thing, but part of what makes NaNoWriMo so much fun for so many people is the interaction with others. When you hit a low point, send out a tweet, hit a forum, shoot off a text, or call a friend who understands. Writing buddies are worth their weight in gold so try to start building your tribe now. 

3. Come up with names. 

Seriously. Name your characters. The number of times I've been stumped by needing a sudden name is amazing. Then I venture to the internet for help and...3 hours later I know the history of rum but still have no names. Create a list of names now that you can pull from when the need arises. If you already have an idea about your main characters, figure out what their names are and get that taken care of. You may go further than this with profiles or interviews with your characters but seriously, get some names together. (Recommendations here)

4. Decide how you want to write. 

I know it sounds simple but decide now, are you going to write in word, scrivener, notepad or something else? Are you going to read the previous day's writing before you start or not? Do you like writing sprints? (Usually started on twitter or Facebook where someone says 'Writing for the next 30, starting at 12:15') I LOVE writing sprints and hop onto them when I see one happening on twitter. It's amazing what that race like atmosphere can do for the writing muscles.  
There are also a surprising number of options for writing tools to help you reach your goals with minimal distractions. I like 750words.com and Cold Turkey Writer. 750words keeps track of your words, the time it takes you to reach them and a whole helluva lot more. I like racing myself and seeing if I can hit my target faster than the day before. Cold Turkey Writer takes over your computer until you either hit a certain word count or a set amount of time has passed, it's hardcore for making you focus on nothing but writing. 

5. Practice!

Start writing today. Right now. Get off this blog post and go write at least 1,000 words right now. I know NaNoWiMo hasn't started yet officially but that doesn't mean you can't start practicing now. You don't jump into a marathon without some training (at least I sure hope you don't because ow) so you shouldn't just leap straight from writing nothing to writing 50,000 words in a month (which is roughly 1,666 a day). Take some time now to write, get in the groove of it. When I'm really stuck I will just stream of conscious write what's going on in my head. The thing is to get those fingers limber and ready for a month of writing dangerously. 

I really enjoy NaNoWriMo and have participated for several years. I don't usually go to the in-person meet-ups but I've heard they can be incredibly inspiring and helpful. Regardless of whether you NaNo or not, getting into the habit of writing every day can't hurt if your goal is to be a writer. 

So, who's up for a writing sprint? 

Reading Slumps

Reading slumps suck. I'm at the tailend of one (or at least I hope I am) and it's been terrible. As someone who regularly reads a book or two a week, not reading anything for months was bad (it was also one of my big red flaming signs that said, hey go get help, you're not doing okay). 

I love reading and I've read voraciously for my entire life. Reading is how I learned about the world far outside of my own experiences, it transported me into entirely different universes. I remember going into school late one morning because I'd read a chapter where my favorite character had died and was too emotionally devestated to deal with first period science.

So basically, a reading slump feels like I've lost my footing on the ground. Suddenly the world is more confining, clausthrophobic and overwhelming. I'm still struggling through it, but I have read at least one book this month which is more than I've read the entire rest of the summer. Since I take the train to work every day and that gives me about 45 minutes of downtown. Writing on the train is a challenge so I use the time to read...when the slmp hasn't smashed me over the head. So what do you do instead?

For me, I've fallen down the rabbit hole of podcasts. You can find almost any genre or style of podcast you like. I've enjoyed fictional stories like The Message, LimeTown, Tanis, and The Black Tapes. These are fun engaging stories told like a radio drama. The well done ones emerse you into the world like a blanket wrapping all around you. 

Audiobooks fall into a similar vein of this but I haven't really fallen into audiobooks in the same way as I have podcasts. 

Another thing I've found easy to read are comics. The visual component plays such a vital part to the story it feels like a totally new medium. 

I'm slowly falling back into reading with one book at a time. 

The Waltz of the Imposter Syndrome

I know this blog has been bare bones and sadly neglected since July. Sorry about that, but 2016 has kicked my butt (has anyone had a good 2016, seriously?) but I'm getting back on my feet at the moment. At the start of this month, I attended DragonCon, one of the largest conventions around. It's filled with people, costumes, food, and crowds as far as the eye can see. My favorite part of the convention is getting the chance to sit around with friends, and with writers I admire. We usually all end up in the bar at the Westin (insert some cliche about writers and drinking here) and a good time is had by all. Except when it isn't. 

This year, no matter how excited or happy I was to be there, I didn't feel like I belonged at this table with incredibly talented writers and editors. What the hell was I doing trying to have a conversation with someone with awards and dozens of books published? I had nothing to add to this conversation and no one wanted me to be there. Every doubt I'd ever had flared to life and buried me in silence and misery through most of the convention. I isolated myself, limited my time with people and generally flew under the radar with only the occasional reaching out to a few people. 

And all of this, all the doubts, panic, worry, and isolation are a song and dance I've rehearsed a thousand times. The waltz of the Imposter Syndrome plays in one, two, threes and I dance to the tune led by my own insecurities. This year it was amplified by the fact that I have written almost nothing this entire summer. I've barely edited and I've struggled to even finish projects I owed other people. Because of that, my worries of not being enough, of just being a bother no one actually likes, turned all the way to 11 and I almost didn't go back to DragonCon on Saturday or Sunday. 

Imposter Syndrome hits almost everyone I know, and it manifests itself in a myriad of ways, from the humble 'oh, that's no big deal. I just got lucky.' to the 'I can't do that. I'm not good enough." everyone has their own spot that causes the most pain. And the worst part of it is that no one else can save you from the dance you're trapped in. It doesn't matter if you hear 'Your work is amazing' or 'I'm so glad to see you!' a thousand times, your brain can rationalize those away as pleasantries expected from anyone, not sincere words. Instead, your brain latches on to the fact that everyone is talking among themselves and no one is speaking to you (because you are caught in your own mind and not joining a conversation). 

For me, I'm learning how to dance this terrible waltz and occasionally throwing in an extra step, an extra beat to throw off the rhythm of the all-consuming doubt. It may be something little, editing one page, reading an essay that makes me feel empowered, watching a pep talk (JUST DO IT) or sometimes it's as simple as going to bed early to make sure I have the energy to get up and try again. 

Creative work is hard because it is subjective, it's both private and public and forces you to examine yourself closely. When you see those dark, uncomfortable parts of yourself it's easy to start to doubt yourself, your work, and even your friends. The trick is to take the steps that you can and to not let guilt add onto the weight already slowing you down. Missing a day of writing does not mean you don't want it enough; it means you're tired and sometimes you need to be kind to yourself and rest. Writing is not the same for everyone. While I used to think you had to write every day (and that still works well for me most of the time), other people write best in short bursts. The important thing is not to constantly berate and doubt yourself because you're not doing what you "should be doing" to be a writer. 

This post may be a little rambling but it's something I needed to type out, to get my fingers back in the habit of moving, to remind myself that I can write, that I love telling stories whether anyone reads them or not. 

I'm still waltzing but now, I'm writing again too and damn that feels good even for an imposter.