Fight for your words

At almost every event I’ve spoken at or every time I’ve mentioned I’m a writer, someone comes up to me and says, ‘I’ve got a great idea for a book but I just don’t have the time to write.’ Well, you do have the time, you just have to make it.

I’ve written before about how books are written with time stolen from other people and it’s true. The truth is that you have to fight for your words. You have to fight for the time to write, it’s never just going to show up in a nice basket with a ‘free to a good home’ ribbon attached.

If you want to write that book that’s been floating around in your head then you need to pick up that (metaphorical please) sword and start cleaving away time for it. That might mean getting up earlier, going to bed later or maybe only going to the gym 5 days a week instead of 6. It might mean you don’t watch your usual TV/Netflix/Hulu before bed and instead you get your words down on page.

It might mean that you write during your lunch break at your day job or that you start taking the bus to work and write on your commute.

It means stepping back and taking a strategic look at your day and clearing time to write. The words won’t happen unless you make time for them to so don’t be afraid to fight for your right to write.

If it matters to you, find a way. 

Surviving Querying

So you’re in the trenches sending out query letters and refreshing your inbox obsessively for a response to magically appear. ME TOO! So, how do we get through this process together? Well, let’s check it out with 5 tips that are currently helping me.

1. Work on a new project.

I know, you want to keep working and tweaking and perfecting what you’re querying… but right now, put it down. Put it down. Really, stop it. Stop it and start on something else. You remember that shiny new idea beating down your door when you were hip deep in your previous project? Go catch up with it, see if that New Shiny Idea is ready to become a full fledged piece.

2. Keep good records.

Keep track of who you’ve sent queries too and when/what they responded. You can do this in your own excel sheet, or on a site like QueryTracker. Knowing what responses you’re getting keeps you on track.

3. Immediately get rid of rejections.

Look, rejection sucks. It just does and there’s no way around that. The second I get a rejection letter for an agent, I note the response in my tracking system then shove that rejection into another file in my inbox so it doesn’t just hang out in my inbox. Don’t dwell on it and don’t respond with hellfire to any rejection you get.

4. Go do something fun.

You’ve probably been working on this project you’re querying for a quite a while. Go out and do something fun. See a movie you’ve been excited about, try that new class, read a book, start a garden. Do something fun and make sure you’re refilling the creative well.

5. Remember it’s not personal.

I know this novel holds your heart and soul. You’ve poured yourself into this novel and when someone rejects the novel, it can feel a whole lot like they’re rejecting you as a person. They aren’t. It’s not personal and no one hates you. Take a deep breath and remember this is your novel not you.

Querying can be tough and it can require a lot of self-care to get through. It’s also totally okay to realize you’re not at a place where you can take the highs and lows of querying. Do what fits your needs and your health at the moment, but don’t give up. 

Believe in Magic

I'm not a big believer in the idea of the muse. If I only wrote when I felt magically inspired, in the flow of writing, very little would ever happen. But that doesn't mean that I don't see the moments the muse shows her fickle butt up to the party. For me, the muse regularly shows up when I'm in the shower, or washing dishes. Something about my hands being covered in soap and water really makes the muse smack my brain with all of the great ideas. What an ass. 

I fully believe that writers need inspiration to keep going, to solve the problems that inevitably arise in stories. Maybe it's in the spark of an idea, or the sudden connection of two ideas to solve a problem.  So what can you do to coax some inspiration out? Well here are 5 little tips.

1. Stop forcing it. 

Sitting at the computer and demanding to be hit by the inspiration stick usually just leads to a lot of frustration and not a lot of production. Sit down (or stand or walk!) and get to work. Maybe inspiration shows up, maybe it doesn't but you've got work to do. 

2. Take time off

Work, work, work is a recipe for burn out and a whole lot of nope. Take time off from your work. Go outside, take a shower, wash dishes, do laundry, play a game, do something else. Give your subconscious time to stir the soup of ideas. 

3. Talk it out. 

Sometimes you've got to talk the little gremlins down. What I mean is, sometimes you need to take that plot problem out of your head and into the physical world. It doesn't matter if you're talking out the plot problem with your cat, dog, stuffed weasel, whatever. What matters is getting the words together to explain it. I'm amazed at the number of times simply speaking it out loud makes a solution suddenly click into place. 

4. Have fun. 

Go and do something you enjoy. Take a hike, a bubble bath, a nap. Do something that you enjoy, feed the muse some happiness. 

5. Remember you're more than your muse. 

So maybe your muse is MIA and you're feeling like crap. Your self worth is not tied up in your muse taking a day (or more) off. You're still amazing. Take some time to re-fill your creative well and that muse will be back. 

Magic happens in the mundane, you just have to pay attention enough to catch it.

Conning it up! Making the most of conventions.

Cons, for me, are a ton of fun and just about the most exhausting thing in the world. When you spend most of your time alone or with just a few people being in a situation where you're suddenly surrounded by thousands of people can be overwhelming. Especially when you're on and working the whole weekend.

Yes, at conventions I'm working, connecting with readers, writers, publishers, and friends. From the moment I get there until the moment I go back home, I'm on and working. What that means is smiling, answering questions, and interacting with people. As an introvert with some serious anxiety issues, it can be incredibly difficult.

Over the years I've gotten better. I no longer hide in my room between panels, or eat alone, or go to bed as soon as my last panel is over. I talk to strangers, don't let one jerk ruin the weekend, and I stay out and interact with people (which includes occasionally uncomfortable, creepy situations). I also have fewer moments of 'Oh god why am I here with all these incredibly talented people when I am a potato'  which helps as well. I figured that now was as good a time as any to share a couple of things I've learned over the years and see if maybe it can help anyone else have a better time.

1. Have a comfort group

Have a person (or a few people) that you can go to when you get overwhelmed and that calm you down. This can be a friend, a mentor, etc. It's great when you have a table near this person, but that doesn't always happen. I'm fortunate to have built up a great network of people that make me feel safe and I can go to them when I get frazzled and get my head right again. I also have a great group of people who remind me that I have a right to be here and that my point of view is valuable.

2. Take some time before your panel

Panels scare the ever-loving daylight out of me. The thought of something stupid coming out of my mouth gives me nightmares weeks before I even get to a convention. But they're also one of my favorite things because I love helping people. So, before most panels I try to find a chance to escape to the bathroom and do the wonder woman pose in a stall for a few seconds. There's an awesome Ted Talk that explains more about this, but it helps me feel more confident. I also try to make a conscious effort to not cross my arms or slouch. If I project confidence long enough, I start to feel confident again. I often stand with my hands on my hips behind my table or twirl from side to side to work off my anxious energy. It makes people laugh, but it helps me feel better.

3. Study the convention before you go

Knowing who is going to be there and where it's going to be can help immensely. Learning that a convention is at a hotel you've been to before makes it less frightening (especially for me because I have zero sense of direction and get lost in my own neighborhood frequently). Make a list of addresses you need to know (hotel, convention center, gas station, restaurant, etc.) and keep them in your pocket or purse.

Also, don't be afraid to reach out to people who are going to the same convention. This is especially true if you're a guest and don't know anyone. Email some of the other guests, introduce yourself, and make plans to meet up there! For me, talking to someone on social media first is awesome and way less frightening than talking to a stranger in person.

4. Know when you need a moment

Going to hide in the bathroom or your room when you get overwhelmed is okay! The point is to come back out and get at it again as soon as you can. Take a few deep breaths, and try to calm down. Try listening to your favorite song, reading something you love, or just going on a walk. It's okay to freak out, but the point is to not let it conquer you.

5. Don't let one thing ruin your weekend

At some conventions I have unfortunate encounters with creepers who make it difficult to enjoy anything after it's happened. What I've found works for me is to take a walk with a friend, get out of the area, go get food (or drinks or nothing). The movement helps calm me back down and reminding myself that awesome people way outnumber the creeps helps me remember why I'm here and that at the end of the day I love conventions and the wacky, awesome family I've found in them.

6. Play pretend

Sometimes when I go to conventions I pretend I'm someone else. I pretend to be a really outgoing, boisterous, confident person. I wear outrageous clothes, talk loud and play pretend like when I was a kid and would pretend to be a power ranger. By the end of the weekend, I'm ready to take that persona off, but it can get me through the convention. I have a particular skirt, and a particular pair of shoes that 'transform' me into this persona and when I'm really worried about shrinking away at a convention I'll wear those and fake it till I make it in the confidence field.

7. Remember everyone else is nervous too

Almost every person you meet at a convention is nervous about it. I've even had someone nervous about talking to me (to me!!) and it's strange to suddenly realize that no one is perfect and always confident. This weekend I heard a New York Times bestselling author say that they felt like at any moment someone was going to realize a mistake had been made and come take everything from them. That's a feeling I fight through every day, and realizing even the people you admire fight that battle is incredibly comforting.

You're not alone with your fear, we're all wrestling with it too.

I hope maybe that helps someone else, and if you have any tips or ideas I'd love to hear them!

Little Rebel, Write However You Want

Sometimes I think there might be more writing advice out on the interwebs than there are actually stories. Everywhere you look, you can find some new tip or trick that supposedly will make you a better writer. The ideas vary wildly from using no technology to using nothing but technology. There are people who get up at 4am to write and people who stay up until 4am to write. There are those who writ every day and those who write in bursts and then don't write again for days. 

For a long time I thought that there had to be some secret for writing. Something that would make writing suddenly super easy and always succusful. I dove into every writing guide I could get my hands on, read every blog post, tried every tip and trick I could get my greedy little hands on. And I hated it. I felt like I never was doing enough, was never writing 'correctly'. I always felt like I was failing some final exam and any moment, someone was going to snatch my laptop for me and tell me to stop faking it. 

I stopped writing for a while and that was just as miserable. I longed to write but I remained scared on how to actually going about getting it down on page. Until I realized the very simple, no duh moment that it didn't matter. How I got the words onto page didn't matter. What mattered is that I wrote. I didn't have to make the process this grand scary thing that required a certain candle to be lit at a certain time. All that mattered was writing. Even if I wrote horrible crap that no one would ever see the world wouldn't end. 

I'd built the process of writing up so much in my head that fear paralyzed me. I worried about somehow getting it 'wrong' and ruining everything. 

But the process only need to have one step: write. 

Now I'm not afraid to try different things, to play with my process and take the time to learn what works and doesn't work for me. I've realized there is no one way to write that matches for everyone. There are a variety of ways to write and no shame in doing what works for you. You don't have to write like Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, Roxanne Gay or anyone else writes. You can build it your own way, you rebel you. 

All you have to remember is to get your words on the page. 

The Lies Behind Productivity

Sharing time! I'm obsessed with productivity tips and blogs. Articles like '7 Habits Only Happy People Have' and '12 Ways You Waste Time Every Day' devour my morning and leave me feeling productive even when I have literally just spent 3 hours on LifeHacker and have nothing to show for it but chapped lips, dry eyes and a lingering sense of guilt. 

While I love reading about these tips, it's just because it feels productive without me having to actually do anything hard. Reading an article? Psssha, that's easy work and a total time waster, but this article will teach me how to optimize my morning so I get everything done and become a productivity ninja! 

That's not to say that these articles don't share good advice or fun tidbits of information that make you feel great about yourself. (I mean, did you know that millionaires tend to smile a lot. I smile a lot, I'm totally on the way to being a millionaire since we have so much in common.) However, at some point it's time to stop with the fun articles and buckle up for a ride. 

Accomplishing things sucks sometimes. Even things you're excited about can be hard to motivate yourself for. I love the novel I'm working on but some days the last thing in the world I want to do is park my cute, little butt in a chair and sit (or stand) at my desk to write. I love the story, the characters, everything, but UGH WHY CANNOT I TELEPATH MY STORY INTO PEOPLE'S HEADS?

But the work is necessary. There are some ways that might make it easier. For example, setting a timer and racing to see how many words I can type in 25 minutes (My best record was 2,003 whoo!) gets me typing and having fun. Some days though, that just doesn't work. I sit at my computer for an hour and type three words and ignore the timer. 

It's a matter of working with myself and knowing that sitting down to work is the only way this project will get done. So yeah, I might pop on Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr or the whole of the Interwebs, but eventually I fall back into my work because I know I have to or it won't happen. A simple motivation? Maybe, but it's the one that stays constant. 

I still dream of being a productivity ninja who talks about how I rise at 5am to go on a 6-mile run before having a kale smoothie and meditating for twenty minutes, but I don't think I ever will be. And I'm totally okay with that. But what I can do is work with what I am, which is a procrastinating over-achiever who wants to live in a Real Simple magazine but would only break everything I touched there. 

And that's okay because who wants a kale smoothie anyways? 

5 Things I Learned at #ATLWW

This past Saturday I had the great opportunity to go to the Atlanta's Writer's Digest Conference. It's a great conference that brings some of the most talented writers, editors and agents right to my door for one day only. The conference is filled with various panel discussions, informational workshops, the chance to get your pages critiqued and the opportunity to pitch your novel to agents. I knew I had to go even if I was flying solo. 
I had an incredible time and learned so much, but if I had to sum it up, here are 5 take aways. 

1. Make Friends
        I went into the conference not knowing anyone, and within a matter of minutes had already made friends simply by smiling and saying hello. Rather than eating lunch alone, I sat at a table surrounded by amazing writers laughing and sharing stories. Learning from other writers, giving and receiving advice made the conference fill like a reunion. Writers are a great bunch of people and everyone is mostly friendly and just as excited as you! 

2. Take Notes
 The panels are filled with information, and even if you get a handout, it's still not a bad idea to take notes. Write down anything and everything that clicks with you. Once you get home you probably won't remember everything and you'll be glad to have notes to refer to. It's also great if you've made friends and can share notes that way you get information from more than just the 1 session you can attend. 

3. Research agents
If you're planning to pitch your novel, make sure you take the time to research everyone you're thinking about pitching. Read interviews with them, read their manuscript wish lists, follow them on twitter, and take notes of your own. Be ready to answer questions and have a smile ready. 

4. Read.
This is a general writer rule but something that was hammered home by my agent meetings. Almost all of the agents I pitched asked me about what I was reading or what authors I enjoyed reading. Not having an answer would not look good so make sure that you are reading and know what books are out there. If the only books you can talk about are 20 years old you've got some work to do. Keep on top of current releases and what's going on in your genre. 

5. Learn something new
Be brave and go to a panel about a topic you know nothing about. Talk to someone who is pitching a novel totally outside of your usual genres. You'll be amazed at what new information can click into place and illuminate your writing brain. Always be striving to grow as a writer and as a person. 

All and all, I would highly recommend going to a conference and getting the experience. If you are writing in a particular genre, look for those writng associations. Many of them host writing conferences and it's a great chance to really hone your skills.

Tabletops and Storytelling

I was really late to the part with tabletop gaming. While I played once or twice in college, it never really clicked until after college when I joined a small group that played together once every two weeks or so.

That group made of only 4 people (3 players and one dungeon master) hooked me and I've been playing regularly ever since. I've even run a few campaigns of my own and have always enjoyed the adventures that can be built through storytelling and dice rolling. But one thing I've really been noticing more and more is how playing tabletop games has taught me a lot about storytelling and what makes a compelling tale. 

Let's start by defining what a tabletop game is. A tabletop game (like Dungeons and Dragons) is a game played with a group of players and led by a dungeon master. The dungeon master controls the enemies, and the general plot, but a good DM (Dungeon Master) will work with the players to tell a collabrative story. It requires a lot of imagination and innovation on all parts. The game is played by rolling dice to determine successes or failures. Combat is done in a similar way. You see a flash of Dungeons and Dragons at the very, very beginning of Stranger Things. 

So what can you learn about storytelling through a tabletop game? Lots. Here are 5 things I've learned over the years.

1. Little details can matter a lot.
I love when a random towns person you discover suddenyl becomes important to the plot later. Or if you discover a strange item that is suddenly very useful 7 or 8 games later. Tie the little details into the big picture and watch the story become a huge, steady narrative arc instead of disjointed mini-adventures. 

2. The first thing you think of is not always the best option.
The first idea you have to solve a puzzle, or get out of a dungeon is usually not the best option. Dig deep, think to the next option then the next then the next. Push yourself to not go with the obvious but to go with the subtle, the outlandish and the unexpected. 

3. You can fail at things you're amazing at. 
Nothing is more frustrating when your master assassin rolls a failure for a sneak attack. Something your character is literally trained to be the best at and you fail. It sucks, but it's also true in stories. Sometimes the hero fails at something that should be second nature. Things go wrong and the unexpected happens. How your character handles those failures is what builds them into something unforgettable. 

4. You can excel at things you're terrible at. 
Sometimes the huge minotaur in plate armor rolls an instant success on sneaking into a room. Just because your character is terrible at something doesn't mean they have to instantly fail at it, sometimes the unexpected works in your favor and that leads your character into new situations where you'll have to think fast to not die immediatly. 

5. Stories have multiple paths, your choices impact the tale you tell. 
Even with a set path of adventure, the choices your character makes along the way shape what the tale will be like. If you're in a cursed city filled with vampires and dread, you can still have a comedy on your hands if that's how the chraracters interact with the world. The characters create the interaction and build the 'flavor' of the story. Use that wisely. 

I love playing in my tabletop campaigns and every time I leave the game filled with a renewed sense of inspiration for my own work. Telling a story with a group of people all working together builds a unique and incredible tale that can be totally different every, single time and that is a whole new kind of magic that I can get behind. 

Seven Steps To Querying

So you've decided to look for an agent. Yay! Welcome to the club! It's an exciting step to decide to go the more traditional route and start the querying process. It's also a bit overwhelming and a little scary. There's a lot of information and it can feel a bit hard to decide where to even start. So let's do this thing! 

Party dog believes in you! You can do the thing, write all the words and send out all the queries! 

Step One: 
Polish Up Your Manuscript!

That's right, step one is not query. It's making sure you've got a badass manuscript ready to roll. I know it's so tempting when you type The End to ride off into querying land. But please, please, please, take your time. Polish up your manuscript to the very best it can be. Pay particular attention to the first 50 pages since that's the first impression of your story. Do those pages draw a reader in or is there a lot of nothing happening? 

This is also a good time to figure out what genre best fits your book. I know it can be hard to categorize your manuscript, but a genre is neccessary. This information also will help you know what to search for in agents. Also check your word counts for your genres. (A good resource on that is here from Writer's Digest.) If you have a 250,000 word young adult novel then you've got some major work ahead of you.

Step Two:
Research Agents. 

There are a lot of agents out there and it's easy to get overwhelmed with where to being. Now since you know your genre that gives you a great starting point. So where do you even start? First, read the 'thank yous' in a novel in your genre that you like. Most authors will mention their agents. (This also serves a dual purpose of giving you a comparative title to mention.)

Personally I like QueryTracker. It lets you search agents by genre, location, and query method. You also can read comments from others who have queried. It's a great start to get names. Writer's Digest is another great resource. There's also AgentQuery, and SFWA's guide to agents. 

Now, once you've put together a list of agents to look over, here comes more work! Take your time and really go through this list of agents. Go to their agency websites and read over the guidelines. Look at their twitter feeds or other public social media sites (don't make it creepy) and read interviews with them. 

At this point I make an excel spreadsheet that tracks these things: Agent Name, Agency Name, Where to Query, and What to Send. From there I divide agents into three categories: favs, awesome, and great. My favs are the agents I dream of working with and I think we'd be a perfect fit together. The awesomes are agents that I'm excited about working with but for some reason, they aren't a fav. These reasons can be simple as 'brand new agent' or 'isn't on twitter, just things that knock them down a pinch. The 'greats' are just one notch below the 'awesomes.' Again, usually it comes down to small reasons, nothing major. 

Step Three:
Keep Researching.

Seriously. Research, research, research. You don't want to end up with a bad agent or a scam artist so take your time. Check out preditors and editors to see if there are any red flags raised about that agent or agency. SFWA has a great breakdown of warning signs of a bad agent. Check them on Preditors and Editors. 

You also can take some time to explore the magical Manuscript Wishlist. This is an awesome resource started on twitter under #MSWL where agents and editors post about things they're looking for. (They even have a great website.) You might find one of the agents you're interested in posted about looking for a novel just like yours, neat! This may bump them from an awesome to a fav. It's a good way to see if there are any agents really looking for your kind of story. 

Step Four:
Write A Query.

Okay, there are dozens of resources on queries (like the incredible queryshark which you should read extensively) to learn about how to write one. Write one and get feedback. If you have the means, take a class and get a critique. (LitReactor has some great opportunities as does Writer's Digest.) Share your query and get feedback. Let people who have no idea what your book is about read over it. Does it make sense to them? 

Step Five:
Write A Synopsis. 

I hate writing a synopsis more than writing a query letter. A synopsis ties the whole plot up in a neat package. Not every agent will want a synopsis but enough will that you should go ahead and get it together. Get feedback and help on this too. Take your time.  Here are some great resources on writing a synopsis:

• Back to Basics: Writing a Novel Synopsis
• 6 Steps for Writing a Book Synopsis
• Synopsis Writing
• How To Write A Book Synopsis

Step Six:
QUERY

I recommend sending out batches of ten-ish queries at a time. Send a few to your favs, a few to your awesomes, and a few to your greats. Don't burn all your favs on your first batch. Now you track responses. Add more columns to your excel sheet: date sent, response date, result. 
When I get a form rejection I mark it all down and then black out that row on my sheet so I don't see it anymore. After you've marked it on your list, send out another one. However, if you're getting nothing but form rejections then it's time to go back to step four and try again. See if you can make your query stronger. A solid query should be getting some requests. 

Step Seven:
Keep Working. 

Just because you're querying doesn't mean you need to stop working on anything. Start on a new project and keep yourself busy. Writing and publishing is a lot of waiting for a response. Keep busy and don't fret yourself into an early grave. 

And that's it! Easy, right? (hahahahahahah)

My Hopes for You in 2017

2016 was a doozy for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. It's been a rocky 12 months for a lot of people and the breath of air at the beginning of the new year is welcomed and needed. So here's what I hope for you for 2017. 

I hope that you do something that makes you laugh so much your sides hurt and tears stream down your face. I hope you're laughing with a group of your favorite people feeling human and like the physical embodiment of helium. 

I hope you read and write things that challenge you. Don't read your same favorites over and over again in 2016. Read an author who is nothing like you. Write a story you've been afraid to tell. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and see what new wonders the world has to show you. 

Be kind to everyone you meet. The world is filled with people suffering with things we never know about. Don't add any weight to anyone else's life and try to help carry weight when you can. 

But don't mistake kindness with silence. Kindness is offering a hand when someone is knocked down. Kindness is not walking away in silence when someone needs your help. When you see racism, sexism, xenophobia, and hate in all its form, I hope you turn the spotlight on it. Tell hate that you see it, point it out to everyone around you and watch it wither. Hate thrives in the dark so don't let your silence be its fertilizer. 

I hope that you find your footing in anything you're struggling with. Whether it's with your budget, your relationships, your career, your home, whatever it is, I hope that you find the path that you've been searching for. Just remember that it's not going to be the easiest one, walk farther to end up where your heart longs to be. 

I really hope that you get rest. The world is so constantly go, go, go that it's almost impossible to not get washed into the current of busy-ness. The 'hustle harder' mentality is burning you mentally, physically and spiritually. I hope that you take the chance to sit down and take a breath. Enjoy a bubble bath, go on a walk, take a nap. The world will still be here when you get up. 

Reach out. Despite the ease of digital communication, it's easy to lose touch with people. Take 5 minutes out of your day to send a friend a nice tweet, a text, a Facebook message or a call. We are all on this ball of mud together, we might as well find a friend. 

I hope that you keep track of the good things that happen to you this year. The bad things fester in our memories, but there are moments of joy and beauty even in the awfulness. 2016 was filled with terribleness but there were moments of brightness, even if it's just something as simple as PokemonGo coming into our lives. (Team Instinct!)

Most of all, I hope 2017 brings you closer to your goals and to the person you were always meant to be. 

I'll be cheering you on.